If I made the rules of the world no one would have to go to bed before 2 a.m and consequently no one would have to get up before 10. The average work day would start at 11 and end by 7. You know what I call this plan?  Pure bliss. People would just be nicer. Productivity would rise. I wouldn’t feel like killing anyone who dares speak to me before noon. Puppies, kittens, and cute baby rats would greet me at the office door. At least, this is how I envision it in my head. (I also envisioned a world where I was marrying Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World this morning, but that’s another story…)

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Anyway...I’m becoming increasingly alarmed at the prospect of having a big girl job for several reasons. One of the most prominent reasons being having to get up before 9 am. Yes. I know that is called “adulthood.” I know it makes me sound like a whiny, lazy millennial; however, may I point out that the way of the majority still tends to leave a substantial minority out there who operate otherwise. See, I am a night owl (oh, 11:11-making a wish!). My ideal dinner time is after 8 pm. I do my best work after 10 pm and love doing housework at midnight. The witching hour (12-3) loves me. During the summer, my hours just naturally gravitate towards 11 am-3am. Always, without fail. Even while having a part-time job that required me to get up at 9:30 three days a week, so elderly Pizza Hut customers could have a lovely face such as mine to greet them promptly at 11 for the all-you-can-eat pizza, soup, and bread sticks buffet. Even then, the other 4 days of the week, I operated on a different schedule than everyone else around me.

Despite being a proud night-owl, I know that I am going to have to become more of a morning person soon. Why, God, why? More importantly, how??? So I looked for some tips….

ZenHabits.net suggests that I begin my changing my attitude in order to “greet the day.” You know, as opposed to my usual reaction of wanting to stab every bird within 10 miles of my window. It also says to “put your alarm clock far from your bed.” Ohhhh, ZenHabits…I have only tried that roughly 239 times. You know what my morning self does? Gets up, turns it off, and promptly falls back into bed. I barely remember doing it. Next. “Do not rationalize. If you allow your brain to talk you out of getting up early, you’ll never do it. Don’t make getting back in bed an option.” Hmmm…you may have something there. If I could stop my brain from going, “You know…you really only need 10 minutes to shower and 10 minutes to get ready when it really comes down to it,” I would be in a much better place to take this challenge on.  My personal favorite tip? “Exercise.” Like….in the morning? Like…before 8 am? Cue hysterical laughter here because, surely, you must be joking.

So yeah…work in progress…Any success stories here?

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Super awesome energy giving smoothie! (Tastes better than it looks.)

Put this smoothie recipe together yesterday. It’s kind of a combination of a bunch of recipes I’ve seen around Pinterest. It is quite delicious and most importantly, nutritious!

My Green Energy Smoothie

  • 1 cup of Greek yogurt (I used vanilla.)
  • 1/2-1 tbsp. peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup coconut water
  • 1 frozen bananna
  • 1-3 handfuls of spinach (I’m scared of green things, so I only used one.)

I feel better all ready.

Oh, yeah. I graduated last Saturday. All I can say so far….it’s odd. I don’t know what things are going to look like next week.

I gag when I eat lettuce. I gag harder at the texture of spinach. I’ve almost thrown up upon smelling steamed broccoli. Sometimes, I wonder why my taste buds have such an aversion to such nutritional foods then I realize my mac and cheese is done. Still, I do have every intention of improving my eating habits…you know, someday. Don’t expect me to be eating broccoli tomorrow.

Since I may actually have a big girl job within the next couple of weeks, I’ve been considering what I’m going to do about lunch. Now, being poor means ordering out everyday is not an option. Plus, my heart hurts just thinking about it, so I’ve had to think a little harder then I remembered a Flickr account I came across about a year ago that includes pictures of every lunch one mother packed her first grader for 63 days.

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Embarrassing to pull out in front of colleagues who are probably all going to be at least five years older than me? Perhaps. Worth it? I think so. Hey, if I have to train myself to like healthy food, I might as well start from the beginning.

This cannot be happening, you guys!

It’s official, guys. I have less than 10 days until I graduate college with my BS. Less than 10 days to be a student, explore the area in which I live, and be with my friends. More importantly….I have to go back to sharing a rooooooom! Ohhhh, the despair! The agony! How has my life come to this?

Ahem…but seriously, it just really hit me as soon as I woke up this morning, and I’ve had butterflies literally non-stop since then. I read a lot of blogs about 20-somethings and what it’s like to be a millennial, and while they have been very helpful in giving advice, right now they’re just contributing to my nervousness about the future. The future that is barreling towards me like a train at such high speeds that all I want to do is pull a Jared Padalecki and hit the emergency stop button irregardless of the consequences.

 

Anyone going through this same thing or has gone through it recently?

 

Edit: *drumrolllllllll* I. Have. A. Job. Interview. Whatthewhaaaaat?  In the hour and a half since I first posted this entry, I got a phone call from a local mental health center in need of psychiatric rehabilitation workers. I don’t exactly know what that is, but I’m excited! Send out that resume-you never know.

Did you know “….a study found that 95% of non-eating disordered women overestimate the size of their hips by 16% and their waists by 25%, yet the same women were able to correctly estimate the width of a box”? 

For the majority of my latter teenage years, I was quite comfortable with my 125-135 lb body. I wasn’t fat. I wasn’t skinny. I was what one may call average, and I liked it. You may notice my use of “was,” which now that I look at it, isn’t entirely accurate because although I still have an average-type body, I’m no longer too happy about it.  I weigh around 145 now and for the first time, I’m actually a littler nervous about summer. Summer-my favorite season of the year. That, my friends, is crap.

Slowly, I’ve started to get a more realistic love-your-body type of mentality going on by working out and eating better. It’s not that I look that much different. I just feel different. I mean, I have visible triceps now. I know how to land a decent punch thanks to kickboxing, and best of all, I’m motivated to keep going until I’m positive I could kick somebody’s ass. You know, in self-defense…

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If you’re feeling the same, be you man or woman, I have a few things for you to check out:

  1. Firstly, there’s a great website called My Body Image that allows visitors to pick their weight, height, and body type in order to see images of other women who look like you. No more looking in the mirror and feeling like a cow-that’s so Oprah. And thankfully, there’s now an equivalent for men!
  2. There are quite a few free professional workout videos on youtube if you look hard enough, but by far the best I’ve found are FitnessBlender, BeFit, PopSugarTVFit. All free. All awesome. Plus, all offer extra advice about eating right, etc.
  3. I’ve never been one to count calories. Even mentioning it makes me cringe as it just brings up thoughts of 90s after school specials about anorexia, but if you’re serious about wanting to have a handle on what you’re eating, I highly recommend MyFitnessPal to help you out. It’s a free website that allows you to get a real idea about how many calories you need to consume in order to lose about one pound a week or to maintain your current weight. You can also plug in exercise, so you can eat more, which I find to be extra helpful because, like, pizza’s really good.

Good luck in your quests, my young Padawans!

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This is has been my brain roughly 50% of the day since I came to the realization that it had finally happened: April had arrived. The month that was located in a land far far away-some refer to it as “the real world.” The month of my college graduation. It’s to that point where I lie in bed at night cycling and cycling through all of the possible scenarios about what I’ve done to find a job, what I should to to find a job, what I’ll do if I don’t find a job, and on and on and on…

My advice to me and others like me:

Calm your shit down. Calm. It. Down. Seriously, freak-outs look good on no one. Plus, everyone else is doing it, so that makes it uncool for those of us who are proud of our ability to wear all black in every single kind of weather.

I figure this: If I do not get a call back from any of the places I’ve applied to, I will get a part-time job working someplace like JoAnn Fabrics (hello, discounts on craft supplies) or PetCo or some random babysitting gig. THEN, I’ll spend a decent chunk of my time volunteering at the local CAPSEA agency (Citizens Against Physical Sexual and Emotional Abuse), which requires something like 30 hours of training, so it’s no small way to gain experience. It’s not a full plan, but I’ve always been more of a foundation/skeleton/letsfillintherestlater kind of person. Plus, with my whole list of things I want to try and create, nobody can every tell me that I am wasting my time or mooching off of my parents or not doing anything with my life. Most of all, I can’t tell myself any of those things.

I am young. I am lost. I am confused. I am not alone. I am moving in the only direction I can travel. Onward, good people!

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As a woman, I can tell you that one of my greatest fears is being raped. I regularly have dreams where I am trying to fight against someone (usually a man), but no matter how hard I try, my blows land like feathers. I fear losing the small amount of power I hold as a female human being if someone decides they can just do as they want with me. This, my friends, is bullshit. I don’t care if you’re sick of hearing about rape and violence against women. Until we don’t fear so much sit tight, listen, learn, and spread the message.